THE QR CODE MENACE
I Came For Breakfast.
Now I'm Logging In.
Remember menus?
Actual menus.
The magical laminated pieces of paper that told you:
- what they served,
- how much it cost,
- and whether the burger came with fries.
Simple.
Efficient.
Human.
Now?
You sit down at a restaurant and are immediately greeted by a tiny square made of black pixels.
Waitress:
"Just scan the QR code."
Buddy...
I came here for eggs.
Not a software installation.
Modern Restaurant Experience
Step 1:
Scan QR code.
Step 2:
Open browser.
Step 3:
Accept cookies.
Step 4:
Reject cookies.
Step 5:
Accept essential cookies.
Step 6:
Verify you're human.
Step 7:
Create account.
Step 8:
Forget why you came.
Somewhere in Canada right now, a retired guy named Gord is staring at a QR code like it's an ancient Viking rune.
Server:
"It's really easy."
Gord:
"Then why does it need Wi-Fi?"
The New Customer Service Model
Businesses have discovered a revolutionary way to improve service.
Remove the service.
Now YOU:
- find the menu,
- place the order,
- enter your information,
- process the payment,
- troubleshoot the website.
Congratulations.
You're now the waiter.
Casual Dining Has Become IT Support
At this point every meal requires:
✓ 85% battery
✓ Strong signal
✓ Updated browser
✓ Three passwords
✓ Divine intervention
The Caesar salad shouldn't need two-factor authentication.
Meanwhile...
A beaver can build a dam overnight.
A raccoon can open a locked garbage bin.
A goose can shut down an entire parking lot.
But somehow I need a smartphone to order toast.
Final Thoughts
Technology promised us:
- flying cars,
- robot servants,
- unlimited convenience.
Instead we got:
- QR code menus,
- app-based parking,
- digital receipts,
- and passwords for things that used to be forks.
Honestly?
The next thing they'll do is put a QR code on the QR code.
🇨🇦 Official Reality Check
1995:
"Here's your menu."
2026:
"Scan this code, create an account, verify your email, accept the terms, and then maybe we'll show you the soup."
Bottom line:
I CAME FOR BREAKFAST.
NOW I'M LOGGING IN. 🍁📱🥞🤣