Police in Quebec arrested a man for allegedly driving a Zamboni impaired…
…on an actual road.
Not the rink parking lot.
Not during a game.
Buddy fully merged into society like:
“Yeah I’ll just take the resurfacer down to Canadian Tire real quick.”
The RCMP probably clocked him at a dangerous speed of:
“slightly brisk curling official.”
Imagine explaining this dispatch call:
“Suspect is travelling eastbound.”
“Vehicle description?”
“…large ice-polishing rectangle.”
And somewhere in rural Canada, six arena dads immediately defended him:
“Honestly the roads probably smoother now.”
Canadian crimes always sound less threatening and more deeply disappointing.
America gets:
- high-speed freeway pursuits
- helicopters
- SWAT teams
Canada gets:
- a drunk guy in a Zamboni
- carrying two Tims
- apologizing while being arrested
“Sorry boys… thought this was Route 113.”
The most unbelievable part?
You KNOW somebody asked if he could finish flooding the ice before processing him.
🇨🇦 Only in Canada does the getaway vehicle improve traction conditions for everyone behind it.