I CAME HERE TO SHOP.
NOW I WORK HERE.
Remember when stores used to have cashiers?
Good times.
Now you walk into a store to buy:
- milk,
- bread,
- and a pack of batteries.
Ten minutes later you're:
- scanning products,
- weighing produce,
- troubleshooting software,
- and arguing with a robot.
Congratulations.
You've been promoted to Assistant Cashier Level 1.
No training.
No benefits.
No pension.
No employee discount.
The Great Canadian Self-Checkout Rebellion
Canadian retailers continue replacing human cashiers with self-checkout machines.
The machines, meanwhile, continue replacing happiness with rage.
Every Canadian has now experienced the sacred ritual:
SCAN ITEM
Machine:
"Unexpected item in bagging area."
Customer:
"IT'S THE ITEM I JUST SCANNED."
Machine:
"Please wait for assistance."
Customer:
"I AM THE ASSISTANCE."
Somewhere in Canada right now:
A 72-year-old man is attempting to buy:
- one tomato,
- a newspaper,
- and cough drops.
The machine has called security.
The worst part?
The stores act like they're doing you a favour.
"Fast. Convenient. Easy."
Buddy.
I didn't come here looking for a second job.
I came for ketchup.
Now I'm running inventory.
Employee of the Month
At this point Canadian shoppers deserve:
- hourly wages,
- dental coverage,
- and a Christmas bonus.
Because if I'm:
- scanning,
- bagging,
- troubleshooting,
- and verifying my own age...
I'm not a customer anymore.
I'm staff.
Final Thoughts
Canada used to be:
- polite,
- efficient,
- and mildly functional.
Now we spend our evenings arguing with a machine that thinks a banana is suspicious.
Honestly?
The robots aren't taking over.
They're just making us do their work.