The Retired Menace
Probably right. Possibly high.
Retired veteran menace. Still taking notes.
Satire, travel scars, shipwreck detours, civic side-eye, and the occasional useful conclusion dragged out of the smoke.
Latest Dispatch
A Toronto man tried to rob a convenience store with a live raccoon. Not a weapon shaped like a raccoon. An actual raccoon. Buddy allegedly walked in, lifted the raccoon like it was a
Read the dispatchOutrage Brief
Police in Quebec arrested a man for allegedly driving a Zamboni impaired… …on an actual road. Not the rink parking lot. Not
A man in Alberta got arrested after allegedly trying to steal a skid steer from a construction site… …while already driving a
Canada is now operating like a country where: * wildlife has unionized, * public shame no longer exists, * and every week sounds AI-generated. Today’
Internet Lost Its Mind
Canada has now entered the phase of civilization where: political activism and middle-school graffiti have officially merged. And honestly? Nobody’s surprised anymore. 1. Somebody Is
Canada continues to prove that reality is now being written by a sleep-deprived guy eating Timbits at 3 AM. Fresh stupidity from the Great White North:
Old Scars
Canada continues to prove that reality is now being written by a sleep-deprived guy eating Timbits at 3 AM. Fresh stupidity from the Great White North: 1. Canadian City Installing Anti-Raccoon Locks On Green Bins The
Open the scar tissue
Travel / Shipwrecks
Canada is now operating like a country where: * wildlife has unionized, * public shame no longer exists, * and every week sounds AI-generated. Today’s fresh nonsense: 1. Canadian Man Tries To Rob Store With A
Read the field noteMenace Supply
Quiet logo. Loud internal monologue.
For looking harmless while noticing everything.
The field version. Sweat, shade, and bad decisions nearby.