Celestial
Cheese
A borrowed strain name, a borrowed technique, a lab molecule, and one very heavy evening
Overview
Celestial Cheese is not a documented strain. It’s a flavour name in a line of US hemp-market THCP moonrock pre-rolls from a brand called SMAK’D, sold as two-packs of 2-gram joints and labelled Indica. Sibling flavours in the same line are Hydra Haze, Lunar Lagoon and Purple Guardian. US smoke shops list the line at about $12.
Three separate things are packed into that name: Cheese, a real British strain family; moonrocks, a real (if disputed) infusion technique; and THCP, a cannabinoid discovered in 2019 that has never been studied in humans. The retailer pages publish no lineage, no cannabinoid percentages and no terpenes. A batch COA is linked, but it could not be opened for this review.
“It’s a sedative with a sense of humour.” — The Retired Menace
What’s Actually In the Name
There is no published pedigree for Celestial Cheese. The name is assembled from three parts, only one of which is a plant.
No evidence the flower inside is Cheese genetics. “Cheese” here is a name, not a documented parent.
The Cheese
Cheese is a British strain from the late 1980s, a Skunk #1 phenotype prized for a savoury, sour, unmistakably cheesy smell. The Exodus Collective in Luton kept the original cut alive, hence the names Exodus Cheese and UK Cheese. In 2004 breeder Milo “Big Buddha” Yung backcrossed it with Afghani genetics to make Big Buddha Cheese, which won the 2006 High Times Cup. Yung died in 2023.
The legal Ontario option is CALI Big Budda Cheese (Afghani × UK Cheese), listed at 25–29% THC, indica-dominant, grown indoors in Ontario and carried in Kingston.
The Moonrocks
- 2013Rapper Kurupt (Tha Dogg Pound, Death Row Records) and Dr. Zodiak meet and start collaborating on a mixtape.
- 2014The Moon Rocks mixtape and “Kurupt’s Moonrock” product line launch together. A competing claim credits California dispensary Starbudz760 with making them first.
- Mid-2010sSnoop Dogg and Pharrell appear in a promo for Kurupt’s MoonRock. A Michigan dispensary charges $40 a gram.
- 2017A Canadian-listed company signs an exclusive Nevada licence for “The Real Kurupt’s MoonRock.”
- LaterTired of origin disputes and copycats, Kurupt and partner 1933 Industries launch a separate line, Gotti’s Gold.
The method: a bud dipped in hash oil and rolled in kief until no oil shows. Licensed versions typically test around 50% THC. They’re too sticky to roll easily, burn slowly, and can take about 30 minutes to reach full effect.
The THCP
Tetrahydrocannabiphorol was identified in 2019 by an Italian team led by Giuseppe Cannazza, working on a government medical cultivar called FM2, and published in Scientific Reports on December 30, 2019. THC has a five-carbon side chain; THCP has seven, the first natural cannabinoid found with a chain that long. In lab work it bound the CB1 receptor about 30 times more tightly than THC, and in mice it produced THC-like effects at lower doses. It has not been tested in humans, and the plant produces it only in small amounts.
⚠️ The November 12 Problem
This product category exists because the 2018 US Farm Bill defined hemp by Delta-9 THC alone. A law signed November 12, 2025 changes that to a total-THC standard and caps finished hemp products at 0.4 mg THC per container.
A continuing resolution signed September 2, 2026 pushed most of that to December 11, 2026. The ban on cannabinoids synthesized outside the plant was not delayed and takes effect November 12, 2026.
Because the plant makes only trace THCP, products built around it are most likely lab-made. Whether that puts this line under the November 12 ban is a question for US lawyers, but it’s the obvious risk.
Effects & Experience
No breeder or retailer effects profile exists, so this one is first-hand. The Menace’s report, from a consumer with a long-established tolerance: full couch-lock on the first session, something no product had managed in a long while. Deeply relaxed, no anxiety, no paranoia, and no interest whatsoever in getting up. The Indica label held up.
Reported Effects
Watch For
The Verdict
Five out of five. It does what it says and then some. But nobody can tell you what’s in it, including the package, so treat it accordingly.
One pull, not three. Sit down before you light it. Wait the full half hour. Cancel the evening’s plans. Beginners, walk past it.
Best Case Usage
| Use Case | Assessment |
|---|---|
| Evening Use | Yes. Reported full couch-lock. Plan on going nowhere. |
| Experienced Users | Yes, in small amounts. It flattened a seasoned tolerance on the first try. |
| Beginners | No. Unknown potency plus slow onset is how bad nights start. |
| Daytime | No. Nothing about this stays functional. |
| Driving, Cooking, Email | Absolutely not. |
| Medical Use | No human data on THCP. Talk to a physician. |
Product Details
Sources & Further Reading
- Smoke Valley — SMAK’D THCP 2g Moonrocks lab-results listing
- Glass City — SMAK’D 2g Moonrocks THCP Pre-Rolls listing
- Leafly — Cheese strain
- Sensi Seeds — Cheese strain guide (Exodus, Big Buddha, Milo Yung)
- OCS — CALI Big Budda Cheese
- High Times — Kurupt and Moonrocks
- Weedmaps — Moon rocks
- Grand Cannabis — Moonrocks: what are they?
- eCurrent — Kurupt’s Moonrocks land in Michigan
- Snoop and Pharrell promo for Kurupt’s MoonRock
- Cannabis Business Times — THCP discovery
- Bloom — THCP and CBDP research summary
- Vicente LLP — Federal hemp definition change delayed to December 11
- Akerman LLP — One-month delay of hemp THC restrictions
- Congressional Research Service — Changes to the statutory definition of hemp