Latest Dispatch
Serving Whom, Exactly?
Canada's federal public service has an image problem — and the receipts are public record. When 155,000 federal public servants walked off the job in April 2023, they made history. It was
Read the dispatch
Retired veteran menace. Still taking notes.
Dispatches for people who can smell bullshit through a closed browser tab.
Satire, travel scars, shipwreck detours, civic side-eye, and the occasional useful conclusion dragged out of the smoke.
Outrage Brief
Small fires, named accurately.
🧨 Today in “This Can’t Be Real — But It Is” — Canada Edition
THE AUTOMATED PHONE SYSTEM UPRISING Your Call Is Important To Us. That's Why Nobody Will Answer It. Remember when you
🧨 Today in “This Can’t Be Real — But It Is” — Canada Edition
THE APP-TO-PARK APOCALYPSE I Just Wanted To Park. Now I'm Creating An Account. Remember parking? You found a spot. You
🧨 Today in “This Can’t Be Real — But It Is” — Canada Edition
THE LOYALTY PROGRAM APOCALYPSE I Just Wanted Milk. Now I'm Joining A Cult. Canadians used to shop. Now we enroll.
Internet Lost Its Mind
The feed fell down again. Naturally, there are witnesses.
🧨 Today in “This Can’t Be Real — But It Is”
THE QR CODE MENACE I Came For Breakfast. Now I'm Logging In. Remember menus? Actual menus. The magical laminated pieces of paper that told
🎁 Today's Gift
Oh, for the Retired Menace Daily Gift, we need something that feels like it came free with a purchase nobody wanted. The Premium Subscription Cancellation Kit™
Old Scars
🎁 Today's Gift
Oh, for the Retired Menace Daily Gift, we need something that feels like it came free with a purchase nobody wanted. The Premium Subscription Cancellation Kit™ Includes: ✅ One magnifying glass to find the cancel button ✅ Three
Open the scar tissue
Travel / Shipwrecks
🧨 Today in “This Can’t Be Real — But It Is” — Canada Edition
THE LOYALTY PROGRAM APOCALYPSE I Just Wanted Milk. Now I'm Joining A Cult. Canadians used to shop. Now we enroll. Every store now wants: * your email * your phone number * your postal code
Read the field noteMenace Supply
The shop can wait. The voice comes first.
Black Badge Tee
Quiet logo. Loud internal monologue.
Cream Badge Tee
For looking harmless while noticing everything.
Jungle Badge Tee
The field version. Sweat, shade, and bad decisions nearby.