Nobody likes a certain song, yet everybody knows it. Worse, it gets into your train of thought and stays there, sometimes all day. La la de la. You start something and it goes away, then all of a sudden it’s back. What we have here is an old-fashioned earworm.

All hail the earworm, for it never lands on your favourite song. It doesn’t play your tenth favourite either. It’s always, always something corny. Possibly even stupid.

Nobody likes it. Everybody knows it.

How does it start, anyway? Normally a DJ on the radio tells a relatable story. In the ’80s, Q107 had the Rum Song, rum de bucket of rum, and every morning they’d prime it:

Effectively, they gave half the GTA’s listening audience the worm of the decade.

Music gives and music takes, but beware the earworm. It’s an imaginary beast, and it can strike anytime, from anyone: your loved ones, your friends, even that bully down the hall.

Sooner or later, the music will get you.

Here’s an Apple Music playlist of mine that should give anyone an earworm. There were so many to choose from, but these are the ones I could muster.

May the earworm be gentle.

— The Retired Menace